I’m not one of those people who likes to shop. So when I find a brand of a piece of clothing that fits me, I’ll buy that brand for the next decade, or until they stop making it, whichever comes first.

(If you knew me at all in the 90s, then you most likely knew that I had a slight obsession with Gap ribbed turtlenecks. In the 80s, it was LL Bean turtlenecks.)

Several years ago, I visited my first Calvin Klein outlet near a beach. I went in, and discovered what I deemed the only pair of jeans that really ever looked good on me. Unfortunately, the store only carried one pair in my size. I bought my $29.99 pair, and returned every summer to buy another pair.

Since then, I’ve discovered that almost every single Calvin Klein outlet carries this same style of jean for $29.99. Whenever we are on a roadtrip, and we come across a new and different outlet mall, we’ll likely pull over so that I can look for a Calvin Klein store. And if there is one, I’ll likely go in to buy the only pair in my size.

I don’t every shop on Black Friday but I had to today. On Halloween, the kids were painting pumpkins and some bright neon pink paint landed smack dab on my butt. I didn’t know this at the time. I washed, then dried the jeans, and then saw the stain. It was my only pair of jeans that fit me well. I needed a new pair.

The past few weeks have been busy — I haven’t had the time to make the 30-40 minute drive to our local outlets. But this morning, the sitter was available, so I made the trek north.

Almost every Calvin Klein outlet store is organized the same way. On the left and right sides, in these wooden cubbies, are the $29.99 boot cut jeans.  I went over to my side of the store.

To my absolute horror, were “skinny” jeans and “flare” jeans. No boot cut.

I was in despair. Where was the manager? Give me the CEO! Who messed with my damned denim?

I was frantic. If I couldn’t find “my” jeans I’d have to start the entire painful process of looking for jeans that actually fit me well again. The Torture.

A few minutes later, I found myself in front of a table marked CLEARANCE 50% OFF. Lo and behold. My jeans! And they were marked 50% off. And here was the kicker — there were multiple pairs in my size.

The Perfect Jean! And I would only be paying $15 for each pair.

I grabbed TWO pairs this time, and went to the counter.

My tab rang up to over $60.

I asked why it was so much.

“The jeans are $59.99 Ma’am,” he said.”Then it’s half that price.”

Those little shits at Calvin Klein marked UP my pair of jeans, which have cost $29.99 every year I’ve purchased them, to mark them DOWN again.

Hope your Black Friday was far more successful!