This is exactly the same reason why I’m not blogging about Palin, despite the fact that she’s spread herself around so much, I half expect to look up at the night sky and see a constellation of her.

I’m taking a poll: Should I rent episodes of The Wire or Mad Men from Netflix? I haven’t seen a single episode of either show, but I keep hearing good stuff about both of them. Does The Wire have a lot of violence? I can’t take a lot of violence.

The other day I got my Atlantic in the mail, and read another essay by Sandra Tsing Loh. Commenters at 11D had an interesting discussion about her current situation. I’m going to focus on an assertion of hers that is probably not at all popular in the married population, but one that I believe has a ring of truth to it:

The very success of the modern American family—where kids get punctually to SAT-tutoring classes, the mortgage gets paid, the second-story remodel stays on budget—surely depends on spouses’ not being in love.

Fault Tsing Loh for having an affair and falling in love while married. Fault her for not having a permanent home for her children. For, essentially, living out of her Volvo. Fault her for her previous essay which blames the institution of marriage for her own marriage’s dissolution. (An essay which I didn’t care for in particular.)

But from where I sit, I have to agree with her. I don’t see a whole lot of love in people’s marriages. Before you jump down my throat, let me qualify my statement. I know a lot of wonderful people who are in long term committed relationships. They are great parents to their children. I expect that most of these couples will be together until one of them passes on. But it seems to me that creating a world with comfort and security for the family sometimes leaves no room for love.

I suppose when I say “love” I mean the romantic kind. I realize that it’s impossible to make time (or have the money) for date nights. And I fully realize that sparks tend to fizzle out when you have young children. But it seems that friendship and cooperation, at some point in a marriage, push out a lot of the love. And while I see absolutely nothing wrong with this, I certainly “get” Tsing Loh on her point.

I don’t blog much about my husband, but I will tell you about my end of a conversation we had one night. We were watching some TV show where the characters were talking about their nonexistent sex lives with their partners. I looked at him point blank and told him that if the romance in our relationship disappeared, I would likely leave him. It’s fine if there’s a dry spell. But if we settle ourselves down into a complacent, comfortable partnership in which there is no passionate love, I can’t imagine I’d want to stick around to pick up his dirty socks. Life is too damn short.

Finally, another post up at skirt!