If you recall, in January I hired a sitter to watch the baby about 4-5 hours a week. She was awesome, lived close by, and the baby loved her. (The Big Girls were in school during this time, so they didn’t really get to see her.)
Having a sitter just 4 hours a week was an indescribable luxury. I went to doctor’s appointments unencumbered (this was when I had that back pain and knee trouble, so there were many) and I’d also get groceries, work out, and write. B.S. (before sitter), I would have described mothering three children as “difficult;” A.S. (after sitter) I described it as hard, but very manageable. Having those few hours a week changed my perspective that much. I went from feeling insane, to feeling quite sane.
Sadly, our lovely sitter hasn’t been available since mid-May. She took on a full load of summer classes, and along with her job at the mall, has a too busy of a schedule. And in August, she’ll be transferring to an out-of-state college.
As luck would have it, we found another sitter. Another wonderful woman who is both loving and anal about watching children — my dream combination. The problem is, is that she’s also very expensive. Four or five hours a week, every week, is just too much money for sitting. But for things that I really need to do without kids, she’s perfect.
So I’m considering sending the baby to a Mother’s Morning Out program two mornings a week, at the same church-run preschool my 5-year old attended. She’ll be exactly 18 months old at the beginning of the school year. My question is — is this the worst possible age to start daycare? My oldest didn’t start preschool until she was almost 4. My second went a few times a month to a drop-in program when she was 2, but was 3 before she regularly attended preschool.
If the baby were younger, I could easily sneak out, and she wouldn’t even notice me leaving. If she were 2 or 3, she’d probably be happy to go. But how is it starting a program at 18 months or thereabouts? Will she scream and cry? Will she get used to it quickly? Will she be sick all the time because she’ll still be putting things in her mouth?
What say you, Internet-Friends? Inquiring minds want to know.
I loved the perspective of this piece, via 11D and Megan McArdle, about why people are so old by the time they publish a book.
I think it’s a toss up. When my daughter was that age, she went to a half-day preschool 2 days a week, loved it, but was sick a lot (mostly stomach bugs…yuck). When my son was that age, he went two days a week, was hardly ever sick, but cried every time I left him. When I picked him up, he was fine…but I hated leaving him like that. So…I guess I’m not really helping you much, other to say I think it’s different for every child. Maybe try it with her and see how she does????
Comment by Jennifer — June 24, 2009 @ 8:40 PM |
Thanks for your experience, Jennifer. I suspect I could handle the getting sick part (as long as it wasn’t too bad), but that I would crumble if she cried for more than the first 3 or 4 days…
Comment by She Started It — June 24, 2009 @ 10:22 PM |
How much does this lady cost? Does she charge more if she watches all 3? If not, I’d use her cause it’s a good deal and go out in the afternoon! Unless this mother’s day out is free, then I guess it would be the better deal. But yeah, she’ll be sick more for sure.
We use our babysitter 4-6 hours per week, and sometimes more than that if we need to. We pay her 12 dollars an hour and it’s worth every penny! You can’t put a price on sanity! : )
Comment by Sis-n-Law — June 24, 2009 @ 8:56 PM |
She’s $13.75 per hour for 1 child, but each additional child is $1. So it’s a better deal for her to watch all three, but very, very expensive for one. I want to be home when the Big Girls get home from school, so the afternoon just doesn’t work. My last sitter was $9 for 1 child, and $12 for 13.
The Mother’s Day Out isn’t free, but it’s very inexpensive.
Comment by She Started It — June 24, 2009 @ 10:27 PM |
Excellent link.
Comment by Aunt Becky — June 24, 2009 @ 9:38 PM |
Arun began a few days before his 2nd birthday. And it has been such a great experience, I am very grateful that we can afford to pay for it. It is 18 per day, for 4.5 hours and he goes twice a week.
Anjali will begin this fall and has been begging to go to school since early this year, just past her 18month mark.
I pay our college student babysitter 9/hour to come for 3 hours a week right now. she is only here for the summer and truthfully, I voluntarily gave her a raise from the 7 I was formerly paying her. She is a sweet, honest girl and my kids ADORE her. I wanted to give her incentive to come here because I know she makes damned good money at her “real” job.
I only give out all the $$$ numbers to give you perspective. Everyone has their different price point for their sanity. Know what I mean??
Comment by cagey — June 24, 2009 @ 9:53 PM |
Each child is so different that you wouldnt even be able to predict how she would react?
She might catch a few more bugs but then again she might considering that she has older sisters.
She might cry and cling to you but then again she might never give you another look.
I dont have a babysitter because it would cost $20 per hour here in crazy Bay Area. I cannot afford that. I have a few more years until my oldest is 13 and my youngest 6 and then I am set, right?:)
Comment by sraikh — June 24, 2009 @ 10:20 PM |
Someone tried to get $20 per hour from me here. That’s almost as much as I was making as a government attorney!
Comment by She Started It — June 24, 2009 @ 10:29 PM |
Have you considered a Mother’s helper? It wouldn’t work for doctor’s appointments or going to the gym, but it may help you get some work done. I have a 13 year-old in the neighborhood who comes twice a week for 2 hours in the afternoon. She plays with my kids while I work with my laptop in the back bedroom. I wouldn’t want to leave someone that young alone with my kids…but I do get some writing accomplished. And she only costs $6.50 an hour for both kids!
Comment by Jennifer — June 24, 2009 @ 11:23 PM |
I tried looking for a Mother’s Helper initially. The problem is, is all of the kids here are either in aftercare until 6:00 or scheduled to the hilt with afterschool activities. No one is really around.
Comment by She Started It — June 24, 2009 @ 11:30 PM |
Helen started going to daycare at 16 months so I could tutor. Alice started at 14 months. The first week was like ripping a bandaid off, and there were a few bumps in the road on occasion, but for the most part they did beautifully. And they are VERY VERY different children.
I say go for it. The peace and sanity it will buy you will be absolutely worth it.
Comment by Elaine P — June 25, 2009 @ 2:02 AM |
Thanks, Elaine! I remembered that they started at about that age. Nice to know they both did so well.
Comment by She Started It — June 25, 2009 @ 11:45 AM |
I hope you know I’d be there in a heartbeat to hang out with the girls; however, until I gain genie powers and can magically transport myself on my magic carpet….I’m not much help.
Hope all is well with everyone. =)
Comment by kelly — June 25, 2009 @ 4:23 PM |
I’m probably not the norm because we’ll be keeping the younger kids at home until Kindergarten, and except for the rare emergency or impossible situation when a good friend watches the kids, we don’t use sitters at all (crazy, right?). We do put the kids in nursery or Sunday school for an hour during church service, and they all seem to do well with it from day one, even our youngest.
I would say that it would depend on you baby’s personality as far as crying. Usually younger children with older siblings do better away from mom. But yes she will probably get sick. Then again, your older child has probably been bringing home lots of bugs anyway, and the baby might have already been exposed to a lot of things anyway.
When I first had a mother’s helper, I paid $5 a hour for two children. She was a homeschooled teenager and basically just played with the kids. She never had to change a diaper or feed them.
After I moved, the lowest price for a mother’s helper to play with two children was $15/hour, again with me at home. I didn’t hire anyone.
Comment by Mary Ann — June 25, 2009 @ 6:00 PM |
The prices sure have gone up, haven’t they?
Comment by She Started It — June 25, 2009 @ 6:12 PM |