Sh%$, Toto, We’re not in Kansas anymore

Welcome.

If you followed me from my old blog, thanks so much for showing up here. If you’re new, thanks for accidentally stumbling across this blog seeking me out. If you’re a literary agent or book publisher dying to throw money at me to publish my memoir, allow me roll out the red carpet for you.

Let me introduce myself.

I’m a thirty-something married woman reading and righting writing near Atlanta, GA. I am the former author of the highly acclaimed Life in the Hundred-Acre Wood, which bored readers to death focused on my family life and had a rapidly declining, dismal small yet loyal readership. I’m not sure why that blog never really took off. Perhaps because I couldn’t figure out how to change the basic template, post pictures, or cross out words my readers were too shy? I am also the mother of 3 small girls — all of them gorgeous, intellectually gifted, philanthropic, highly-skilled athletes, who are also as popular as hell. We spend our days pointing our fingers at one another, bickering laughing, sharing, cuddling and bonding .

This blog is my attempt at revealing my highly politically incorrect views exercising free speech, which is rumored to be in some very important document in this country. It will also chronicle my journey to read as many books as I can just in case a certain Alaskan governor becomes President Vice-President of the United States and feels the need to ban them innocently inquire (hypothetically speaking) about banning them.

I will also release my inner bitch rant about the catastrophe that is the media and politics. If you consider yourself a conservative, you may want to never visit here again you may enjoy reading about a different point of view.

And let me assure you: I’m highly qualified to talk about world events. I get all of my information from Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, and a brilliant documentary filmmaker named Michael Moore. I also spend my days reading stuff by other writers, such as Andrew Sullivan, who feel the exactly same way about the McCain/Palin nomination.

I’ll also be writing about my personal life, in particular, my attempts at making friends starting a new book club. And I’ll include some posts about my desire to become a bestselling, filthy rich working writer, since failing as a lawyer discovering this passion about 6 years ago. It occurred to me recently that I have enough rejection letters to wallpaper the inside of the Taj Mahal. While I’m certainly not qualified to tell you how to be a good writer, I’m certainly an authority on how to be bad.

I have many people to thank for the evolution of this new blog. First and foremost, myself. Second, I’d like to thank WordPress for providing a cute little icon that makes it a piece of cake to cross words out. (I’ve already overused it.) Third, I owe deep gratitude to Senator John McCain. Because if he had picked me for his running mate, there’s no way I would have had time to start this new blog. (And from what I’ve heard through the political grapevine, because of my work as Room Parent for my oldest daughter’s class, I was on the short list.) Fourth, I’d like to thank Bill O’Reilly for saving me a bunch of time and energy. Because if you ever want to know how I feel about an issue, all you have to do is listen to what O’Reilly says, and know that I believe the exact opposite.

So again, thank you, welcome. Sit back, relax, and don’t forget to bring a beer ENJOY.